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Text File
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1995-03-23
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805b
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28 lines
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE WATCHING TOO MUCH COURT TV
10. Recurring nightmare about being trapped in Ito's beard
9. You've named your poodles "Rosa" and "Lopez"
8. You have overpowering urge to pay people to lie for you
7. You've let both foreign and domestic policy slide for months (Bill
Clinton only)
6. When your kid breaks a neighbor's window, you yell, "Get in the
Bronco and drive!"
5. All your erotic fantasies seem to involve bailiffs
4. You ask MCI to add Johnnie Cochran to your Friends and Family
list
3. Kato Kaelin no longer seems like a freeloading bonehead
2. You go to the supermaket every day, but all you ever buy is O.J.
1. You're having conjugal visits with yourself
Letterman, Thursday, March 9, 1995.
Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995